Is it wrong that I still am floundering? I have been out of the church for over 2 years. I have played with many theories about God, Jesus, church, etc. In looking at unschooling (a less structured form of homeschooling) for my high school junior DD, I have read that you should generally allow 1 month for every year of schooling for them to deschool. If that's true does that mean I should allow 1 month for every year of religiosity? Wow! That's 50 months, over 4 years. It does take a while to get all the 'stuff' out of your head so that you can really see God without whatever you've been taught infringing on your thought processes.
I think about God, but mostly I find that I'm trying to not think about anything. It's like I don't want to think. But I do want to know who I am and I want to know who God is. Maybe I'm trying to rush it. Some say that wherever you are is good - and maybe that's true. I just feel like I'm wasting time. There's so much to learn and do.
Paul secluded himself for 3 years for time alone with God. He had a lot to unlearn and a lot to learn. I can't seclude myself. I have to work. I have a family. What would it be like to be able to do that with no distractions? For it to be just me and God for 3 years? I cannot imagine it being just me and God for one week. I would love to try it for a while. To leave the distractions behind. Not my family totally, but maybe just to stay in touch with them and know what's going on in their lives, know they're okay and to be there for them if they needed me.
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